Thursday, October 18, 2007
It's weird. How fast time flies!
It was not too long ago, when I underwent a tumultuous journey of the good and bad, memorable nonetheless, and it had to end abruptly. I was thrown onto this whole new road...If the previous year was like going uphill along those rocky country roads on my bike, peddling and huffing at the same time, then, this year has definitely been a downhill, in a good sense. A breeze, a burden relieved, everything going well and smooth. A fast cycle downhill is what every cyclist hopes for as he climbs up the hill...
It has been such a good year. A good experience, perhaps one of the highlights in my life. I realised that there are so much more aspects of life other than academic studies. If you asked me, I would confess that I did not gain much academically. However, I gained a whole new outlook to life. My self-confidence definitely improved, I have become more vocal, and expressive, a far contrast to who I once was. On one hand, I felt that I was a powerful-individual with my new-found confidence, I would just ask and seek help from teachers, and approach people around me. I felt respected...Most importantly, I felt significant...and important, in the eyes of the people around me.
Ironically, on the other hand, I felt small...with Kiwi kids and other Caucasians. Okay, maybe not just literally, but the fact that they were alot more handy than me. They can built their own yacht, plant their own garden. Their sports were way better than me. I once went for a bonfire with a group of kiwi youths, and felt lost...I always felt lost with them. But who could I blame? I did not get such chances in Singapore.
I realised that there was so much in this world which I did not know...Reminded me...
There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me
He said,
"Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see."
Then he said,
"Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I..."
Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me
He said,
"Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me"
And Hey Dad
[ The Riddle lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
I said,
"Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?"
There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see
He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...
The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me
I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...
Five for fighting- The Riddle
The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now
Neon heart day-glow eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They're advertising in the skies
For people like us
And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
Don't look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs purple irises
The camera can't see
I've seen you walk unafraid
I've seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?
(cut)
And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
Time...time...time...time...time
Won't leave me as I am
But time won't take the boy out of this man
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
The more you know the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Lessons are not just for the ones who kneel... luckily
U2- City of Blinding lights
It just makes me feel how small we really are in this world, and our part to play. We might be great men or women, but there will always be people greater than us. Similarly, there will also be people who are less fortunate...
The magnitude of this life, this world, and the knowledge circulating, certainly makes one feel tiny.
This year has been the smoothest one in my life...never better. My friend once said, when I decided to come to New Zealand, that I was living in self-deception, which was understandable. I had the unfair advantage of being in a class where students do not speak English as their fist language. Things were going to be alot easier for me than them. Comparatively, I was bound to do better than them. I am not great. it was just because I was being compared...
Life's very much a comparison...and there's no way to prevent that. There is no poor without the rich...no evil without good, or smart people without the dumb people. A friend of mine told me that she felt that she was stupid. I told her that if she was to compare herself to kids in Africa who do not even get proper education, she is smart. Similarly, If I were to throw her into Cambridge University, the opposite result occurs.
Its not fair she says...But, since when is life ever fair?
I am willing to continue living in the so-called "self-deception" then.
When everything is going perfect, that's what I fear, an unexpected disaster. Its been a smooth road...I am travelling down fast...easily. It's nearing the end, yet I cannot see it. I'd just hope it is not a wall!
I know when this road ends....like all downhills, its gonna be an uphill again...the 2 years in National Service looming ahead of me, and it is no way a walk in park.
I am thinking in terms of Physics now...I am travelling down hil at high speed...I'll hit maximum at the bottom...and let's just hope there is not a rock in the way which could fling me off my bike...and then, hopefully, momentum would aid me in going uphill...
anyway...that's all I could think about now...I'll end now...and i might be aeons before I post something again...
