Indifference: Bye...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

It slammed into me suddenly as a wave of shock
It happened all so sudden, all so unexpectedly
I did not know how to react...

It took me a while for my senses to recover from disbelief
At some point of time, I felt neutral, indifferent, nothing at all.
Then it starts to sink in.
Reality...
The mixture of emotions welling up deep inside me.

First came panic...
I shuttled to and fro the area
Hoping it was all a dream

Then came the immense hatred
The blazing anger deep inside
The intensity I never felt before
Never had something so dear been taken away from me defore

Then gradually grief
The strong emotional attachments
Finally, broken. Just like that. For no reason.
The questions recurring in my head
Why? Why? Why?
Why Today?
Why me?
Why?

Bits of emotion lingered around
Floating away somewhere in my subconsciousness
Frustration...Guilt...

Everything mixing up, like paint swirling into the final state of a dull, drabby colour
Confusion.
Ponders abut the future
What should I do about the dependence I once had?

I'm mourning a loss now. Will observe some moments of silence for the time to come.

Hurts really. You'll only treasure something when its no longer with you...Then, you feel the importance...