I cannot help, but feel emotional while typing out this post. In case nobody noticed, or nobody was aware due to my introverted nature, I had been away for 6 days on an island far off the shore of Batam. Returned only last Wednesday, severely sun burnt, however, that was another thing all together. Seriously, thinking back, all the memories start flooding back like the tides. I enjoyed every single moment of it. It all blended together into this perfect package. The atmosphere- The sound of the lapping waves against the shore, the salty sea breeze brushing through your hair, the occasional dogs barking, the beautiful scenery of the sun, the great horizon complimented by some greenery, and most importantly the people around, who were full of warmth. It was seriously paradise for both mind and body. The serenity, the calmness, the lifestyle of the people there. Simply slow and easy, without the hustle and bustle and complexities of modern living back here. I felt rejuvenated. I had time alone to reflect deeper into myself. I made new friends. In fact, It was really so good, every single second. I felt guilty for not thinking of home, where all my problems lie...which was apparently why I decided to go to NZ- To be far far away from Singapore, the hectic lifestyle, the emotional web...Self-centred I know, but I had no other choice. I sunk into lapses of depression during the camp, however, kept it all to myself, and I did not think anybody really noticed as I sat all the way at the end of the jetty all by myself, sorting things out in my mind, in the pitch darkness as people were gazing at the meteor showers. However, it was not one bit bad. It was sweet. Pain can be sweet. I did sort things out, and the next day was a brand new day. Now, I really miss everything that had happened there. Every single thing, the good and the bad. On the boat ride back, I actually dread coming home. It was that bad. Nonetheless, the past is the past, and there is no point looking back. I guess it must be true you only truly treasure what you have until it is no longer with you~quoted from Ben~ I wished I was more extroverted there. I wish I made more friends. I wished I did so much more to appreciate it, but let bygones be bygones.
We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. ~Art Buchwald
We keep mentioning the past and the future. The past was time that has flown swiftly past, one directional but never back again. What is the point of reminiscing about it when it is no longer there? All that is left from the past are memories that were once real and took place. However, the exact account can never take place again. The future is a hope that is never really there. It is not real. It is an theory that is created by human beings whom are too wise for their own good. Can you feel, smell, hear, enjoy the future? Nope. The present is, however, something that happens NOW in real time. Our senses are picking up signals from the PRESENT, like now...You are reading this...Thus, enjoy every single moment in the present before it fades away as a memory.
I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is. ~Alan Watts
It's not what if, it's what now. ~Author Unknown
When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past. ~Author Unknown Makes sense?
The only grime I had about this trip was that our leader was under alot of stress and pressure from the responsibilties thrown to her by the unreasonable teacher. I sincerely hoped she enjoyed herself despite all odds, and gained some valuable lessons from this leadership experience. It was seriously thanks to her and the assistant leader that we get to enjoy ourselves, with everything progressing smoothly. Really really grateful.
I realised to my dismay, that this will be my last time having a similar experience, which is having a school-based camp with a bunch of good friends. These happy memories will stay for life. I hope to experience another such camp, before I leave the Singapore education sysem for good. However, seems like that is never ever possible. This is it. Nemo was the last school-based camp I experienced. The best to be precise...the bestest atmosphere, bestest friends, people...everything. Like pope said, All's Well End Well...
So that's it.
