Indifference: Genesis

Friday, October 27, 2006

This blog marks a new beginning to my apathetic self, and an end to my empathetic soul. From today onwards, I will learn how to be more self-centered and independant. Friends are important, no doubt. However, hapiness should come from within, and not be solely dependant on them. This means I can be happy and survive all by myself. Friends are a bonus.

I have realised my shortcomings. Empathy was a curse. I felt for others. I worried for others. I got all so emotional. The consequence was that I recieved no credits, not much anyway. I "attained" a failure. Moreover, not many noticed, not many cared.

I was too magnanimous. On the surface, that was the facade I exuded. But who was I kidding? Deep inside I felt bitter. It was always about others. I should be happy for others, and should not be selfish. That was what I thought. For 17 years, I ended up being taken advantage of. I was on the losing end. Morally, I did good. But, where is the karma I ought to recieve?

Society has evolved in such a way that being all-so-good does not ensure survival. You are a fool instead. Character does not seem to play such an important part now. So what if you are a good person? I want to see your qualifications. I want you to be smart, or else you will be cheated in the corporate world. Its a battle of wits, not conscience or trust. And we know very well that it is a "dog eat dog" culture.

Likewise, being nice does not ensure popularity. Being unique and interesting is what counts more. Nevermind about the superficiality. Majority are shallow people.

Another flaw of mine is I am too uncompetitve. Magnanimously, I give way to others. I do not strive for what I want, because I will rather let others have it. This won't happen again. However, I will leave the past as it is.

Anyway, I will strive for emotional-detachment. I have to purge alot of emotions within me. My old blog serves that purpose, and its out of bounds, yea!

Don't worry, be happy:)