Indifference

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Its been a long time since I updated.

Hmm...what happened so far?

Being welcomed back by good friends on 10 December...

to a place all so familiar

meeting up with ijc peeps

meeting up with cjc peeps

Friends going off to NS

meeting with them, when they book out

giving sweets on christmas

kukup island with family

New Year...bike ride to Sentosa

Bike Ride on Tampines Trail

Ang pow

The great fall...which screwed my left hand...

and perhaps left some mental trauma

worked in a government agency

Archiving people's names from A-Z

The most confusing were the names of people of a particular race I shan't mention...

when looking for such files, one must think of all e permutations and combinations...

Worked in my mum's factory tabulating the salary of EVERY single staff there..

Counted money

thousands of dollars worth of coins...

Apparently, I screwed up with the 10cents n 20 cents bags

Gave tuition. Chinese. to a cousin.

oh yea, I crashed on the new bike, did i mention that?

went to airshow TWICE. one as a VIP, and e other as a public civillian. Stark contrast

Got sunburnt

Regular jogs.

Yadda yadda.

went to sentosa with grandparents. went up merlion. T.T

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Tomorrow.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

It's weird. How fast time flies!

It was not too long ago, when I underwent a tumultuous journey of the good and bad, memorable nonetheless, and it had to end abruptly. I was thrown onto this whole new road...If the previous year was like going uphill along those rocky country roads on my bike, peddling and huffing at the same time, then, this year has definitely been a downhill, in a good sense. A breeze, a burden relieved, everything going well and smooth. A fast cycle downhill is what every cyclist hopes for as he climbs up the hill...

It has been such a good year. A good experience, perhaps one of the highlights in my life. I realised that there are so much more aspects of life other than academic studies. If you asked me, I would confess that I did not gain much academically. However, I gained a whole new outlook to life. My self-confidence definitely improved, I have become more vocal, and expressive, a far contrast to who I once was. On one hand, I felt that I was a powerful-individual with my new-found confidence, I would just ask and seek help from teachers, and approach people around me. I felt respected...Most importantly, I felt significant...and important, in the eyes of the people around me.

Ironically, on the other hand, I felt small...with Kiwi kids and other Caucasians. Okay, maybe not just literally, but the fact that they were alot more handy than me. They can built their own yacht, plant their own garden. Their sports were way better than me. I once went for a bonfire with a group of kiwi youths, and felt lost...I always felt lost with them. But who could I blame? I did not get such chances in Singapore.

I realised that there was so much in this world which I did not know...Reminded me...

There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

"Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see."

Then he said,

"Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I..."

Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,

"Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me"

And Hey Dad
[ The Riddle lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I said,

"Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?"

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see

He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Five for fighting- The Riddle

The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now

Neon heart day-glow eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They're advertising in the skies
For people like us

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Don't look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs purple irises
The camera can't see

I've seen you walk unafraid
I've seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?

(cut)

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Time...time...time...time...time
Won't leave me as I am
But time won't take the boy out of this man

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

The more you know the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Lessons are not just for the ones who kneel... luckily

U2- City of Blinding lights

It just makes me feel how small we really are in this world, and our part to play. We might be great men or women, but there will always be people greater than us. Similarly, there will also be people who are less fortunate...

The magnitude of this life, this world, and the knowledge circulating, certainly makes one feel tiny.

This year has been the smoothest one in my life...never better. My friend once said, when I decided to come to New Zealand, that I was living in self-deception, which was understandable. I had the unfair advantage of being in a class where students do not speak English as their fist language. Things were going to be alot easier for me than them. Comparatively, I was bound to do better than them. I am not great. it was just because I was being compared...

Life's very much a comparison...and there's no way to prevent that. There is no poor without the rich...no evil without good, or smart people without the dumb people. A friend of mine told me that she felt that she was stupid. I told her that if she was to compare herself to kids in Africa who do not even get proper education, she is smart. Similarly, If I were to throw her into Cambridge University, the opposite result occurs.

Its not fair she says...But, since when is life ever fair?

I am willing to continue living in the so-called "self-deception" then.

When everything is going perfect, that's what I fear, an unexpected disaster. Its been a smooth road...I am travelling down fast...easily. It's nearing the end, yet I cannot see it. I'd just hope it is not a wall!

I know when this road ends....like all downhills, its gonna be an uphill again...the 2 years in National Service looming ahead of me, and it is no way a walk in park.

I am thinking in terms of Physics now...I am travelling down hil at high speed...I'll hit maximum at the bottom...and let's just hope there is not a rock in the way which could fling me off my bike...and then, hopefully, momentum would aid me in going uphill...

anyway...that's all I could think about now...I'll end now...and i might be aeons before I post something again...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Birds of the same feather flock together. How very true.

Being the only singaporean in the university, or so it seems...
I'm rarer than the kiwi bird.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

When you return back home, do not expect things to be the same as it were before. Do not expect your friends to be as enthusiastic as you, in welcoming you back. You will only be sorely disappointed. Things will have changed a great deal, you might have soon realised. Social circles, commitments, will all be different.

As time passes, people are bound to forget one another.

The lives of people converges and diverges along the timeline. Some are friends, or enemies. Some are strangers, you might never ever meet in your lifetime. Thus, it is naive of you to think that the people you started off with will accompany you till the end. If this does happen, count your lucky stars...

Remember, when you do return home, expect a new beginning. Stop dwelling on the past and move on.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I am wearing a huge, bulky winter jacket and still freezing. Whereas, there is some crazy bastard wearing summer wear with short sleeve T and shorts...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Have you ever used guilt, to get what you want from somebody else?

And the person succumbs to your request.

You get what you want.

And in the end, you're the one feeling the most guilty

Wednesday, May 09, 2007